#MySonIsTrayvonMartin

Written by the proud mother of the most intelligent & cutest young black man
who happens to have mental health difficulties

I went back and forth in my mind about writing this blog. I’m still not sure I will post it, publish it, or allow this part of me to be readily available to the public. Furthermore, to the people in my life that SAY they are for me and mine succeeding when in reality they pray and feed off the downfall of others, in order to make themselves feel elevated. This makes me nervous because this vulnerability is not mine alone. This is a shared story that includes my baby… my son, Josiah.

I had an “AH HA” moment last year, 2013. There were several incidents that lead me to my realization and the tragedy and senseless murder of young Trayvon Martin was the last piece in a huge puzzle for me….
That case and situation garnered a lot of attention, in the media, social media, and around the world. Although, it is unfortunately not a unique case, young black men are deemed threats for no other reason than they are black. That’s all it takes to be considered a suspect. This is my personal take on the events that took place and to ME this was a case of racial profiling by an overzealous man who took the life of a child because this child was black and in his mind in the wrong neighborhood. A completely avoidable situation, I believe a series of bad choices were made however, none so serious that the end result should have been loss of life. What was particularly perplexing and hard to watch take place was the fact that Trayvon, a child that was gunned down and died, and as a result his character was put a trial as well.

I watched as this young man’s life was picked apart in order to paint him the villain. To justify the fact he was murdered in cold blood by a man based on his stature and color alone. That thought was a scary one to swallow as the parent of a young black son. One whose stature will be similar to that of young Trayvon. My heart broke, and I literally ached all over for his mother. How on earth can breath come easy when you have learned your child is no longer breathing. My heart sank at the verdict. This is not about the trail and I know I keep diverting but this is still a topic that elicits a strong reaction and passion inside of me. What this is about is the harsh reality I had to face when it came to MY baby, MY son, MY young black man.

:-) Let me tell you about my baby… He is so dreamy, smart, bright, determined, inquisitive, rambunctious, head strong, talkative, and host of other really GREAT adjectives. :-) I am a proud mommy. My son is the baby out of my brood and I can be very doting. As mommies, we tend to first ALWAYS see the perfection in the beautiful blessings we give birth to. It’s easy to gloss over minor little bitty flaws, I mean there are no PERFECT humans, right? Well, what do we do when the shiny new baby glow is long gone and “perfect” no longer lives here? What did I do, you ask….. I made excuses. It was simple really. I explained the behavior away. “He’s a boy!” “Boy’s do that.” “He’s just being a boy.” “Boys behave like this sometimes.” I wasn’t alone though, because this behavior did not show itself until he was around 5 – 6 years old, and just like me his teachers where charmed by my absolutely charming son. When his naughty behavior showed itself they too would sweep it under the rug, wait until it was one infraction too many then contact me at their wits end. And I would handle it. I would listen intently and ask why this is my first time hearing of this and it was always the same song…. Josiah is soooo smart, he is great at math, so outstanding in his studies, and his penmanship is so lovely, they always led with what made him great. Never the issue at hand, I recognized the signs after a while. It was easy since I once did the same. They hesitated correcting because like me, they wanted to ignore the negative and pray the positive won the battle.

Like any parent, we see the futures of our children to be greater than what we have accomplished, I am no different. With his potential I KNOW my son is destined for GREATNESS. Thinking of what he can do brings a smile to my face as I type this. However, I also know that all the potential in the world will go nowhere if his behavior does not match his charm and academic capabilities. I knew that his mood and attitude would be his downfall. As his mommy, I had to figure out how to save him, even from himself. I decided that keeping him busy was a start. I entered him into programs, such as the Boys & Girls Club, Mentoring Men, Basket Ball, Homework Club and whatever I thought would challenge him and keep him active. That all worked but as he grew older his mood swings and school infractions increased. I prayed and tried to redirect the behavior. I even threatened drastic punishments and it only quelled the underlined issues temporarily. This was our reality for a while. After watching the Trayvon Martin trial coverage unfold and hearing of the events that took place the day his life was taken, is when it all became clearer to me…. Josiah is not always going to be my baby. I will not always be able to save him from himself. He will one day grow to be a man and with that means he will need to have the tools to control his temper, mood, and actions. He will soon be entering into his teen years and with that his hormones will be raging. That is not a good combination with the already ever presence behavior issues we were having. Although, on that fatal day Trayvon was doing nothing but WWB (walking while black), his only offense is being young, black, and male, my mind went immediately to my son. How did society see him? Is his frame threating at 11 years old and already 5’6 tall, slender build, and of course… black! My son in a hoodie, walking down the street, minding his business, and if approached in a threating manner would react accordingly… would that be his downfall?

The day he was born and I held him in my arms, and looked into his eyes, and bonded with the life I was now responsible for, I never thought I would have to prepare him for society to say his skin was the reason why they felt he was a threat. My son is Trayvon Martin. The realities of Josiah’s situation and the skin he was blessed to be born in opened my eyes that it was time to stop making excuses. To ensure my son was as prepared as I can make him to be self-sufficient in the world. That I ready him for not only the way society would view him and use the tragedy of Trayvon Martin as teachable moment, furthermore finding out what causes his moods and how to get him on the road I know he is destined to travel. Not the one that his behavior was leading him to. After seeking advice from his guidance councilor, his primary care physician, and my mother, I decided to have my son evaluated.

This was no easy choice. I was scared of what the evaluation would uncover, although I knew that as his mom this was the right choice. I prayed that it was all just him acting out and that it was nothing more serious. I always dismissed his behavior as a battle of wills between him and I. That reality made more sense to me and that I could handle. That I was prepared for. What I was not prepared for but in the back of mind knew might be the case was an emotional disorder. When I started down this path I had come to terms with the fact the results may be difficult. And they were, my son was diagnosed with ADHD as well as emotional distress. Over the years I have heard many things regarding this particular diagnosis. I have read articles about the long terms effects of medication. I have also read testimonials about how finding out made the issues the child faced more bearable for both the child and family. All I knew was this was a scary place and I had to lead my child through it.

This diagnosis is still very new. He and I are taking the needed steps to ensure he has what he needs to focus, stay attentive, and maintain emotional composure. We do this through his seeing a behavioral health specialist regularly whom he can talk to and with her help we are on a good path. Although, I was terrified of the results, I have to admit since that day he was diagnosed and I started researching, inquiring, and becoming informed things have been much better for both him and I. The reason WHY was answered for the both of us, actually WHY, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN, & HOW are becoming more evident. WHY we kept butting heads over what I thought was defiant behavior. HOW, his brain processes information & instructions. WHAT, can be done when he is frustrated. WHEN his coping tools can be used to avoid being disruptive and/or disrespectful. WHERE, is the appropriate place to voice your opinion/feelings and in what manner. Knowing, has been a blessing because the frustration before knowing was tense, uncomfortable, and unfair to him and everyone that had to deal with him.

All of these factors came together for me during that trial. My son would be viewed as a suspect due to his behavior among his peers if not properly dealt with. If I don’t ensure he has all the advantages available to him then I fail as his first line of protection, love, and guidance. As a young black male he enters the world every day with targets against him for reasons he cannot control…. Much like Jordan Davis, Emmette Till, & Trayvon Martin. (May they each rest in paradise, despite the awful hand they were dealt due to the color of their skin alone.) My Ah Ha moment lead us to rectify the reasons he can control.

In closing I want to say… If you think something may be wrong or addressed or you have more bad day’s then good, look into it. Don’t be scare of the diagnosis IF there is one, be empowered by KNOWING. Don’t think knowing will hinder you, it will aid you in achieving your GREATNESS! The FACT is WE must be brighter, work harder, more determined and do so in manner that is consider non-threatening. My prayer is that all black males’ young and old never fall victim to racial profiling… especially cases that lead to fatalities.

“Racism is man's gravest threat to man - the maximum of hatred for a minimum of reason.” ~Abraham Joshua Heschel

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away." ~ Henry David Thoreau




By Elizabeth Funderbirk
Lots of Love Literary Liz
Beginning Again… “My Son Is Trayvon Martin”
www.elizabethfunderbirk.blogspot.com

#KinkyCorseandStraightofCourse

#KinkyCorseandStraightofCourse


Hair, Hair, and More Hair…. I was told by a hair dresser a loooong time ago, to never thank your stylist. Just say MORE HAIR and leave a NICE tip. lol I have done that ever since. My hair journey has been through up’s and down’s. Knowing your hair and how to care & feed it is a journey in itself. As a daughter of a black mother and now the mother of black daughters HAIR is a topic that has stages of understanding and examining. It’s funny the things you never really pay that close attention too and just like that…. it is on the lips & finger tips of just about everyone.

The ever so controversial question…. What is good hair? My answer: The kind growing from your scalp. However, even that response can garner some head shakes and side eyes. *sighs* Why has there been a crusade started in order to tell someone what they should consider beauty, good, or just what they should chose to do with the follicles on their heads!

Some stops along the way on my PERSONAL hair journey….

Jerri Curl: I remember getting this treatment when I was young. Not sure what age but very young. It was a very popular hair choice at the time. This was when kids were seen and not heard. I didn’t get asked because my opinion was told to me, I was a child. Curly and easy to manage, I’m sure is what prompted my mother to give the bold hair style a try. And the results at first were all good. I was pleased all that weekend, my mother was pleased, and I received many compliments. Until I didn’t… by the time I went to school the reviews were mixed but not so much negative that it made me uncomfortable. Thankfully, I was secure in my skin and like I stated this had become quite popular so I was not the only person in my school or class for that matter that had their pig tails switched out for greasy curly tresses. One common compliment that I received and quite often, was the color of my hair, it went from brown, to sandy brown to auburn. The fact that it was close to summer and in the sun my hair changing from a darker brown to a lighter brown was not uncommon. As a matter of fact it was normal. The variation is colors since adding the jerri curl was the natural assumption when the tones in my hair were more vibrant, even from my normal sun dyed changes. Then…. Then my hair started thinning. That’s right it began to thin out and eventually it started to come out altogether. The process was a gradual one but each change noticeable. The end result was my mother having my hair cut off in order to cut off the hair that had been treated with the jerri curl perm. I have no idea if this ever happened to anyone else but this was my experience. My aunt & mother continued for many years to style this very same treatment in their heads of hair with no incident. Actually, what it did do was make the hair growing from my mother’s head healthy. In that it was strong, thick, and helped it to grow out. Every style will look different on each person it will have different effects on each person. That is why your hair care journey is your OWN, like so many things in this life. This is not a community vote, nor does majority rule, this is a choice that should be made on what is healthy, what is your goal, what makes you feel good and comfortable; the most important factor is YOU!

After that my natural hair was back in effect. Although much shorter due to the chemical chop it wasn’t something that stood out in my mind as a bad thing to have short hair. Of course that was many years ago… lol I remember the two French braids on either side of my head being the famed style of choice through my younger years.

Press & Curl: This was also common of my childhood but not on a day to day basis. This was a routine that took place on the weekends in my house. I grew up in Spanish Harlem and when I was a little girl my cousins would come over to my house for the weekend a lot from Yonkers. On these weekends our hair was washed, conditioned, and plaited into chucky braids on Friday evening. By Saturday evening those plaits removed from drying and our hair combed, then pressed with a straightening comb that was heated from the flames on top the stove. Each section pressed out from scalp to tip then curled up and secured by pink sponge rollers. Depending on who went last out of the three of us girls determined who would also have to deal with the shortage of rollers. Being the creative people we are and can pretty much make a way out of no way does this stop the show? No, of course not. My aunt who usually took the time to do this would get a paper bag that she saved from the grocery store and tear it into pieces. Each piece she would wind up into a spiral. Those spirals became make shift rollers and rolled up into our hair and folded over for support. More support needed? A bobby pin was used to secure the paper bag roller onto our freshly pressed out hair. When it was all done a stocking cap and scarf was placed on our heads to keep everything in place until the morning.

Even though I have a mixed reactions when recollecting getting my hair pressed… such as holding my ear down to prevent it from the sting from the tip of the scorching hot comb. Or my mother or aunt claiming that they did not burn me yet again with that same comb but that was the heat radiating off the comb not the actual comb making contact with my skin. The after math was bouncy big lock curls that I did not get to wear during the week. It was a Sunday special and it definitely made me feel that way. All dressed up in my Sunday best, with my shiny patent leather shoes, bobby socks, and perfectly pressed hair in curls.

As time passed and hair fads, faded in and out… I moved onto a new ways to wear my braids….

Extensions: was the perfect way to style your hair and maintain the style for an extended period of time, while giving your natural tresses a break from chemicals, heat, the elements, and just day to day wear and tear. This is usually a sure fire way to grow your hair out while sporting a ready-to-go doo. I STILL will wear this style from time to time but this is the preferred style for my youngest daughter. She has never had a perm and we either do her hair in two strands twist or extensions. Her hair is healthy, strong, and thick. I hope she continues to style her hair in ways that promote healthy growth while still feeling free to explore new ways express herself. I have to say this will always be at the TOP of my hair style list. For so long I paid a hair dresser to achieve this look for me and then I had to pay someone to braid my daughter’s hair as well, some beauty shop hair dressers and some kitchen beauticians. However, through the power of the internet, I taught myself how to braid extensions by watching instructional videos on YouTube. One of the BEST things I have done. The money I save doing my girls hair myself is well worth it. I have not tried to braid my own just yet though. I am very much still an amateur but good enough to keep my little girls hair done at all times. As I got older new ways to style hair became available and I dared to try the long and luxurious styles….

Weaves: With weaves there are so many options. Sew-ins & Glue are the only two that I am familiar with, I have tried each. Personally if I am going to wear a weave I prefer sew-in. My reason is because I think styling your hair to suite YOUR mood, to express YOURSELF, and try something new, it should not come at the cost of damaging your natural hair. Hair glue can damage your natural hair if not applied correctly. It can pull it from the root or cause clumps that need to be cut out if washing does not work. Of course this is not always or even a frequent occurrence but it does occur. Just like proper care for extensions is must in order to maintain a healthy head of hair. When I used to wear a weave, a sew in was a must. To me that was the easiest way to achieve my hair style of choice with minimal damage to my natural hair. This was/is a way to explore with colors & new styles without putting your own hair through the paces. I have to say this and a pony-tail was my hair style of choice through my early 20’s. Hair, like with so many things is a journey. You have to go through the paces and see what works best for you. Now my preferred style of choice is one that I once scoffed at….

Wigs: I remember watching “Living Single” and Regine had a wig for every mood. I was not wearing hair pieces at this time but I remember thinking she made what I once thought was an older woman’s doo, something fashionable and accessible. I have gone through some drastic styles with my wig collection. Short, long, super long, brown, bronze, red, highlights, streaks, curly, wavy, layers, bobs, bangs, afro’s, tight curls, loose curls, big bodacious hair, to sleek sophisticated styles, and the list really could be a blog all on its own… lol I LOVE a god wig. What is really appealing to me is the versatility without the damage to my hair. That is a common theme throughout this blog. My ultimate goal was always to maintain my natural hair without being limited to the choices that I wanted to make in terms of styling. When I first decided to see how a wig would work on me it was not out of my sheer obsession with switching styles without completing sheading the strength of each strand of hair that grew from my scalp. It was because of a mishap with a kitchen beautician....

Perms/Relaxers: I was once a fan a good relaxer. I still have no issues with this style of choice. It is just a phase I went through and now I am beyond. When I was getting my hair permed on a regular basis I was a fiend for the creamy crack, it was usually done by a hair dresser ALONE. I had a stylist that I loved and she took excellent care of my hair. However, I had a friend that was going to continental <----- that is a cosmetology school and offered to relax my hair for me at home no charge. He needed the practice and I sure never minded saving some money. So, right there in a mutual friend’s kitchen, among other friends and alcoholic beverages I sat there and allowed him to section my hair, apply the lye relaxer, & repeat until my entire hair was covered. I sat still until the chemicals began to irritate my scalp and then came the burn. If you have ever had a relaxer you know EXACTLY what I mean. We then proceeded to the sink to rinse the relaxer out of my hair. All seemed to be going just fine. After several rinses I assumed everything was going as it should. I was wrong, through the styling process my hair was coming out. As I ran my hands through my hair, strands had collected on my fingertips. The more I pulled the more came out. I began to freak out. Why on earth was my hair coming out in such significant amounts? Come to find out after I damn near lost my mind, my kitchen beautician forgot to add the neutralizer when relaxing and washing my hair. This forgotten step caused my hair to thin as a result. As a protective measure I began to style my hair in styles that allowed my hair to essentially rest. Like braids, sew-ins and wigs. Braids & wigs just so happen to be the two that I liken too the most. Not every dollar saved is a good one. IF this relaxer is your style of choice ALWAYS have a professional do it. Lesson learned the hard way. All in All through my hair care journey I have taken time to explore many options. Some really did justice to me and some not so much but that is the price we pay I guess. There is no right way, style, or treatment for EVERYONE’S hair. Everyone’s head of hair is different and will require different things in order for it to reach the level of maintainability that is BEST for YOU. I could also explore hair products but that is still a journey I have not mastered. Although I do have favorites that I use to keep my daughter tresses lovely, even from my head of hair, to both my daughters to my mother we all require much different things in terms of healthy hair. This, to me should be the goal at the end of the day. I was prompted to write this blog because I have seen a line being drawn in the sand regarding what is BEAUTIFUL in terms of BLACK WOMEN and their HAIR STYLE of choice. NATURAL seems to be extremely popular as of late and I can see why. I consider myself to be all natural, since I have not permed/relaxed my hair in over 10 years. More than a decade since my creamy crack debacle and since I have worn my hair in its natural state and when I desire something different I use either extensions and/or wigs to achieve that. Does the fact that I like wigs make me LESS pro-natural? Well, I was told…. Yes it does! That the natural movement means, just that, NO artificial hair or chemicals. I thought it was a bit bogus but who am I to say how a movement will be defined. Therefore, my suggestion if define YOU and your OWN movement. It’s really all about what works for YOU not the masses! Personally I really have no desire to tell the next person what is acceptable. I don’t think wearing weave means you want to be something you are not, and I don’t think rocking an afro makes your mother earth. Those things are not defined by hair alone…. I think however you decide to do your doo, it should make you happy when you look in the mirror, make you confident when you strut down the street, and be the choice you made based on your hair care journey, whether that is Kinky, Corse or Straight and HOWEVER you choose to achieve that or ALL of those options….


“I am not my hair” ~India Arie

By Elizabeth Funderbirk
Lots of Love Literary Liz
www.LiteraryLiz.Com

#BlackGirlThoughts

#BlackGirlThoughts

I couldn’t sleep last night so I was up watching OWN network. First there was an interview with Arsenio Hall since his return to late night television and the next show was a sit down with Tyler Perry.

Let me start with, I supported and watched his show since his 19 year hiatus already but after watching this interview last night/early this morning I have a new appreciation for him as a person. I really like Arsenio Hall and I wish this time around brings him great joy and success. He explained that he made a conscious effort to be a present father and role model and decided to stay home and be there for his son. That is a commendable attribute when so many fathers make conscious efforts to be absent. He went on to explain besides his love for the job and what he felt he brought to his community and television viewers as a whole his return was also based enormously on his son. Although he stepped out of the spotlight to cater to the needs of his seed and dedicate his time to being a great dad when he realized he was doing his son a disservice by not working as an able body man. His son was developing a mindset that money was just available. He was not seeing that in order to obtain success, it was greatly based on HARD work. He returned to work so that his son was aware, became a witness, and was taught that WORK begets rewards. He wanted to provide a role model as a provider and how a man goes about providing, because that is how boys learn to be men. By example. I was a fan of Arsenio before and rooted for his success but after learning more about the man I LIKE him and that makes watching him mean so much more.

Speaking of another black man that I like to watch succeed. I have seen many Tyler Perry interviews. I subscribe to his newsletter and have seen many of his productions. I am a fan of this man. What I love is his story, his climb to success. I relish in the SUCCESS stories of many of my peers. Now, don’t get me wrong I know that Tyler Perry and I are not on the same team but we are of the same league. He has by far surpassed many by way of accomplishments however he and I as well as many others have a common bond as black people living in America. I think some people forget that, that common thread in fact will forever links us. At least to others looking in. I watched with a smile as he once again recounts the days when he was a have not, moving forward to now being a have. (Get it… ‘Haves and Have Not’s lol) I also intently listened as they spoke about critics and bloggers that have an issue with his method of storytelling. This topic has been stirring in my soul as of late.

Why are ‘we’ so inclined to step on the neck of someone that is elevating the league? I have read it countless times that his genera is catering to the ‘chitterling circuit’. My response to that is…. So! I understand that Tyler Perry’s movies, television shows, and plays are not going to be on everyone’s must see list. Not even everyone in the league (us black folks… lol) are going to be fans and that is understandable but must we be so quick to belittle. Let me be the first to say that not every production that has been released by TP has been on my must watch list. I want to know why is catering to a certain market….. WRONG?

When I first decided to take the plunge and purse publishing my first novel, when I reached out to others that had taken this road before me for advice one of the words of wisdom that resounded was KNOW your market. CATER to your market. KNOW your target audience and ensure that you have them in mind when writing. Does this not apply to TP. I mean, he started out doing plays and the nature was for a particular audience. It was for a certain crowd and they came out in droves in support of his transition to film. What he did was awaken a genera that went with no representation. He displayed characters that albeit over the top at times were familiar to many of ‘us’ and that sparked awareness for a culture that does not get a lot of air play otherwise. Again, why is this a bad thing? Why is, not only employing black actors and actresses that have very few roles in which to even audition for, a bad thing? Why is, displaying black images that are not killers and drug dealers a bad thing? Yes, I will admit there are some stereotypical roles in his body of work but the foundation of the message is far more deep than that of a loud talking momma or grand momma.

I think the issue comes into to play when people, who this type of entertainment was not geared towards, finds a need to insult it. Not just to critique it or even review it but to completely disparage the content, the message, the roles, and those people playing the roles. I was taught that when you reach a certain level of success, remember to reach back and be a blessing to someone else. Is that not what Tyler Perry is doing? Creating films that mirror images in which are familiar to him. Therefore, creating jobs for actors and actresses in the league that look like him and me furthermore, employing a wide array of people in order to make a huge production such as a movie and/ or play a success. Why is he not praised for those feats. The bigger question is why the most scrutiny is coming from those that look like Tyler Perry. Why are we so quick to give one another a negative appraisal instead of uplifting and words of encouragement? We are our own worst enemies. I see it so much lately and it is always cloaked in wanting to uplift a people and preserve our greatness but is THIS how we rise above! I wonder if all these people who are so pro the community realize since we are so busy attacking one another it makes it that much easier for others to make us the target as well. Why on earth would anyone show us due respect when we are so consumed with snubbing each other.

In recent years a new show premiered and the reviews are vast, from glowing accolades to a downright bitter dialog that demeans the character and the woman playing the role. I am speaking on ‘Scandal’ this show that is written so beautifully with tales interwoven and tangled into each story line and character….. It really is awesome. The fact that this story is loosely based on a real woman in Washington is also a plus. An educated woman, who has worked alongside heads of state and is stellar in her field, gets to be the inspiration for another black woman. So much so she created an entire television series in celebration of her and her achievements as a woman of color in a town with a career that is generally driven by her white male counterparts. Shouldn’t SHE be celebrated for her climb up such a difficult ladder? How about the woman that made the story possible? Who wrote a smart, intercut, political, sultry story that presented the opportunity to highlight a black woman and use a black woman to tell the tale. We as a people should relish in the accomplishments of these three women who are representing in a powerful and successful way among the television powers that be. Instead I see so much hate. Hate for the way this character is portrayed? She is successful and balancing life & love? Yes, this may be a difficult pill to swallow for the married community. As a wife and writer, I look at it for what it is, A STORY. But, the discontent is coming from their sisters. Such contempt for a woman that has conquered a great feat, on a major television network show as the STAR, a face that look like our own as a strong woman, instead of celebrate, there are those that must find a reason in which to throw shade. I for one want to be like Shondra Rhimes the creator of Scandal and many other television dramas, when I grow up, she is my hero! This show made me research the woman for whom this show is based on, crisis manager, Judy Smith. Her record in Washington is immaculate and she has been on the team to handle some pretty major crises that I am sure the public all remember…. Just may not have known she was at the helm of creating a resolution. And Kerry Washington…. first I have to give home girl a round of APPLAUSE!!!! For acting the hell outta that role, and say kudus to her on a job well done. I wish we would stop tearing one another apart. Many speak on this black woman who is tangled in an affair with a white man. These SAME people would scoff if it was a black president and a black first lady. Then the complaint would be why would they portray women of color degrading one another…. My question why are women of color degrading the accomplishments of the three women that make this show possible. Or if Olivia’s role was played by a white actress and the President and the First lady were black. Again, the need to create a hypothetical situation in order to down play the success of the show that IS on air is beyond me.

The worst case is the new blogger sensation of discussing baby Blue Ivy Cater. Just thinking of some of the comments regarding this harmless little baby, I have to shake my head in disbelief. Beyonce’ and her husband get a lot of attention for one reason or another. The widely popular singer and the rap mogul husband have established themselves in the entertainment world and therefore it should be expected…. But is there nothing that is off limits, like to negatively bash the appearance of a child. I have read comments that CPS should be called and a complaint filed. Claiming that her hair is not being combed, smh really people? I am baffled that people honestly believe that this child is getting less than adequate care. All because her hair style is not what they consider well put together. It goes on to say that she needs barettes, bows, or a headband, I guess the consensus is that bows in a small child’s hair equals care. You know truth be told I am not mad at her hair. When I see her I see a little black girl. A beautiful little black girl. Not with matted hair, in tattered clothes, or filthy skin and/or nails. Trust me when I say this little girl is not worried about nothing and I would bet money she is very well taken care of. Her hair being combed into an afro never constituted subpar care. Her hair not being weighed down with grease and not being snatched up in barettes and bows EVERYDAY does not mean she is not taken care of. Doesn’t even mean that it never gets done in those types of styles. It means that it is not part of the priority. Teach our daughters that care of their bodies is important but NOT conforming to what the popular demand says is the standard for beauty.

The common thread in all the situations that I mentioned above is that the biggest critics are coming from a community of people that should be uplifting them. Coming from a people that have the same skin as them and know what it means to be blessed with skin rich in pigment. Why are WE not OUR biggest supporters? I see it so often, under the guise of black empowerment yet, so quick to stab your sister or brother in that back. Does brotherhood/sisterhood only exist if they are conforming to YOUR view of how to climb the ladder of success? Success, in life, love, career, family, community, or whatever it may be. Instead of empowering, I see more downgrading behind the ‘I’m Black and I’m Proud’ agenda. Is this how ‘we’ show support? I certainly hope & pray not. I am sincerely happy to hear when someone that reflects who I am has taken a step toward success. Not evaluating how they could have done it differently, or why they don’t deserve it, or even why I could use their platform better than them. I want for those that reflect me to do well. I want people in general to do well. I use that as motivation to keep pursuing my goals and dreams, not as a way to down play theirs.

“We have to do better at this thing we call being human” ~LeVar Burden.


By Elizabeth Funderbirk
Lots of Love Literary Liz
www.LiteraryLiz.Com

Beginning Again

“Begin again as often as you need to in order to stay on track spiritually...” Unknown



"Begin Again as often as you need to in order to stay on track spiritually..."

Don't call it a come back.... I never left. I have taken a hiatus though. Some much needed time to examine what I have accomplished, the road I took, what are my plans going further, what is my ultimate goal, and how to improve on it all... *sighs* I have antagonized over many things on this list I just mentioned especially my ultimate goal. What is it I want at the end of the day? What do I want from this journey? I thought I knew when I started, but I soon realized that my vision was not as clear as I once thought.

I've decided to take it back to the beginning. And that thought for me, was originally very depressing. I mean who wants to admit to being wrong? Not I. However, owning that fact helped me to formulate how to change it. This was a cleansing process, a lot of tears.... And what I can say is that I am THANKFUL for it all. I had an aspiration that I was terrified to pursue and with a little nudging from my then boyfriend now husband I was able to reach the finish line on a goal of mine. I wanted to WRITE a book. That thought was absolutely daunting. How could I possibly achieve that? I was scared to chase my own possibilities but I overcame that and for that I am a better me!

I wrote that book and as each word, each scene, and each concept flowed from the ebbs of my mind, through my fingers, and onto the pages I knew I was doing what was in God's plan for me. Something that felt so right and was so therapeutic to my soul had to be preordained just for ME. Once I was there, I was nudged to not rest on my loral's and to get my work published. Published? What does that even entail? Talk about fish out of water. I never even considered actually publishing a book before I had completed the writing on my first novel. I'm sure most people in the literary field pursued this road after much research, a lot of thought, and a careful plan. That was not how it fell into place for me. I was going on the fly. Through this journey I have met so many people that have supported my efforts and held their hand out to help me. These people gave me LIFE. They believed in ME and thought I had something to bring to the table. They published me, interviewed me, featured me, and reviewed me & my work. That propelled me further. That made it impossible to slow the train. I wanted more of that and I wanted to say I am a PUBLISHED author. And I am! I did that! But, in hindsight I did it too fast, with not enough knowledge, and no real plan on how to proceed. Like in most situations I place myself in, I had to learn on my feet running. Mostly because I didn't want to take a moment to seek another way. Was that a mistake? To some looking in, yes. To me, no! It was a well taught lesson. That lesson taught me what I do want from a project that represents me. It showed me that I needed to give more in order to really excel. It taught me there is nothing better than really KNOWING the undertaking of the path you chose. It taught me there is nothing better than betting on YOU and winning. Winning will be different things too different people. For me WINNING is saying I did it, and I learned because of it, and NOW I am applying that knowledge to BEGINNING AGAIN.

One of my many FAVORITE quotes is...... "Begin again as often as you need to in order to stay on track spiritually...". It's ok to fall, as long as you get up and start over even stronger.... This race is only YOURS.

Please take a moment to check out my novels "Love TORN Asunder" & "The Bitter sweet Conclusion" the first two books in the TORN series. Available on my website (www.LiteraryLiz.Com), store locations by request, and Kindle & Nook. Also, I am a contributor to domestic violence awareness anthology "voices Behind The Tears". The third book in the TORN series will be released the beginning of 2014. Thanks for the support!


Lots of Love LiteraryLiz.....♥
www.LiteraryLiz.com

STRONG ENOUGH: My Issue With Single Parenting

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Saving Lives One Book At a Time.....

Friends,

I just created a petition: Saving Lives One Book At a Time: Saving Lives Through Lit, is seeking support in building a Non-profit Org. , because I care deeply about this very important issue.

I'm trying to collect 100 signatures, and I could really use your help.

To read more about what I'm trying to do and to sign my petition, click here:
http://www.change.org/petitions/saving-lives-one-book-at-a-time-saving-lives-through-lit-is-seeking-support-in-building-a-non-profit-org?share_id=vvUltgZVGE&pe=d2e

It'll just take a minute!

Once you're done, please ask your friends to sign the petition as well. Grassroots movements succeed because people like you are willing to spread the word!

Saving Lives Through Lit Executive Director, Elizabeth Funderbirk
http://SavingLivesThroughLit.Org

FREE E-Book

Hello :-) I am having a really bad day! But, now that I have sulked around, I am over it and need to do something to lift my mood. I would like to give a copy of either of my novels away today! "Love TORN Asunder" or "The Bitter Sweet Conclusion". All you have to do is be the 10th person to "LIKE" my support page -----> https://www.facebook.com/LiteraryLiz

I will announce the winner tonight on The1Essence Radio show tonight airing at 8pm EST. Click the link below to tune in, and hear an exclusive exceprt.

http://loudcaster.com/channels/581-the1essence-radio

Either Kindle or Nook!

Lots of Love LiteraryLiz.....♥
www.LiteraryLiz.com